Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
11th February 2009
“Eyes of God”
Children are the apple of every parent’s eye. Every girl yearns to bear children and be a mother to her child. The dreams of motherhood are as sweet as heaven. Such is the love every woman bears in her heart for her children. Physical or mental abnormalities in the child do not dent this love; it always remains green and keeps blossoming. But if the child’s behaviour either during childhood, teenage years or adulthood is not becoming or is antisocial, the mother’s love is replaced with anguish, sadness and worry of unimaginable proportions.
Such behaviour becomes and is a problem to every parent. The common census is that it needs to be nipped in the bud at a young age, while psychiatric intervention and therapy is advised and called for during teenage or adulthood. The misery of every parent to get their children’s behaviour in line with the accepted form that exists for every generation must surely be disheartening. The anxiety and economic burden involved in resorting to medical, correctional and vocational therapy is a secondary problem by itself, besides the primary which is the behaviour.
Such measures either bring in the desired results or do not. The time involved in producing results is not constant either. If such are the findings, how could the results be real? If the results were real, they should be produced at a precise moment in time and remain corrected for life. But the desired results are never constant because parents are nevertheless worried, anxious and sad after any form of correctional or medical therapy. This is medical statistics and every parent’s story as well.
Parents and teachers, as parents, need to understand that they remain the same no matter what the behaviour of children is. So, it is not the behaviour of the child that is the problem; the non-acceptance of behaviour is the problem. Man has adopted a socially-accepted behaviour with ease and that poses no problem to him, though he remains worried, sad, anxious, jealous, angry, guilt-ridden and in fear.
Parents are yet to understand that the accepted behaviour of the husband and wife remains a problem. It is like a volcano ready to burst. The children too will have the same problems as the parents have, if they are to behave as they are expected to. They, like their parents, will be worried, sad, anxious, jealous, suspicious, guilt-infected and in fear. Behaviour has remained the same in every generation known to man with only its intensity changing in every generation. It is wise, therefore, for the parents to understand and realise whether any form of behaviour is real or not. It needs to be illusory if the world is illusory, as proclaimed by the enlightened souls.
It is not the unacceptable behaviour of the child that is the real problem, if there really is one: the social standing of parental ego is at stake, and that is the problem. A well- behaved child bloats any parental ego, and this is what the parent longs for. If it were not so, he would not reject the unacceptable behaviour of the child. A child is a child no matter what the behaviour is. If the love for the child were real, it would never dissipate. If a parent cannot love his child, who would or could? Where would the child go for love, for it is not he who manifests behaviour?
The children are not unhappy with their behaviour, no matter what it is, while the parent is. The parent is unhappy because social standing is at stake, and a belief that the children’s future depends on an ideal behaviour. Spare a moment here and find out if any parent has an ideal behaviour, or whether the parent is happy with his life or in life, or not. Only the parent who is happy with his life and with what he has turned out to be has the authority to make a point about his children’s behaviour, and none other. No man is ever happy and this is Universal. So what point is made by demanding or insisting that the children behave? Every mind’s nature is to be unhappy and only wanting to be happy, which it cannot be. It is not the nature of the mind to be happy; it only wants to be happy. Happiness is not a sensation and all sensations are thoughts; it is not possible to be happy in the mind.
Pleas to the almighty to correct unacceptable behaviour increase by the day. The almighty has been receiving such pleas for aeons of time, but children continue to be born and, in every generation, unbecoming and antisocial behaviour of the time presents itself. Pleas of help keep pouring in to God in every generation. But, more importantly, does God need to be told? Is it not God who makes children and also their behaviour? God is present in every moment, and this is man’s belief, but he does not believe that God is present within behaviour too.
Would God not intervene and make the corrections in the parents’ pleas? Would God turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to a parent’s plea? Would God’s love for the child not be greater than man’s as He is their creator? God would certainly intervene and correct, but the general experience of man is that heavenly intervention and correction is wanting. Nevertheless, pleas to God continue to give hope and trust to man of impending heavenly remedies. So prayers are kept active for they give hope to man.
Does God not know how to create children or behaviour? He certainly would and should if he were God. Maybe any form of behaviour is the need for the moment, and man has not understood this so far. He cannot be sure what is required for the moment; if he is, he will be certain of life, but he is not. He merely has an expectation for what the moment should be, but expectation is not the same as surety.
Life is precise in every moment for it is God who manifests the moment and not man. So would not the moment be as it is meant to be? It certainly would be, and it is so, but this understanding has not yet happened to man - it is waiting to happen. The mind cannot know the precision that life is in every moment, because the mind is absent in the moment that is.
The mind functions in the past or the future but never in the present moment. If so, how could it know what the behaviour for the moment should be? It cannot and does not, but only thinks that it does. The mind only knows the behaviour that was and wants the past behaviour for the present moment.
As the mind is absent in the moment that is, it can never control the present moment, but only the past moment. What use can the control of the past moment be when it cannot be applied to life, which is in the present moment? Life is in the present moment and not in the moment that was. The past can never be a moment because there can only be one moment at any moment. Therefore, every moment is the present moment and there can never be a moment that is the past. All moments are in the now and nowhere else. The past moment is an auditory illusion of sound.
All expected behaviour is in the past that can never exist, which makes the behaviour too just as illusory. Hence, it is impossible for expected behaviour to be applied to the present moment. It is the same with the behaviour of the moment that is rejected. It just cannot exist in the present moment because the mind is absent in the present moment. The behaviour that man rejects is just as illusory as the expected behaviour. The present moment is all there is in life and it is without behaviour.
So what could the movement be that is in the present moment and that creates an auditory illusion of behaviour? What could the moment that is be? The moment that is is sophistication; it is a process of sophistication. Life sophisticates every moment; it has been doing so and will continue to do so every moment. The process of sophistication is beginningless and endless because life is beginningless and endless.
If man understands the illusory world as illusory and not real, he will be at ease however life appears to be in the mind. Man needs to understand that life is a singular, continuous, uncontrollable, unpredictable and precise movement of light, which reflects an optical illusion of colour, form and action. He needs to understand that the mind is a singular, interrupted, uncontrollable, unpredictable and precise movement of sound, which reflects an auditory illusion of words with meaning. He needs to understand that life is a process of sophistication every moment.
Parents are overwhelmingly concerned about their children’s behaviour. They police and dictate to their children and logic and reason support this approach. But spare a moment to look deep into man’s behaviour during such times. Is a policing and a dictating attitude by parents to and over their own children, who they say they love dearly, permissible? Would love permit such an approach? Would policing indicate that the children are nothing but a sort of criminal and would dictating not make every parent a dictator, even if he denies that he is not?
It certainly would, and children suffer silently because of this attitude which parents believe is good for their children’s future. And the children in turn do the same to their children. In every generation the freedom and happiness of childhood is destroyed unknowingly. The intentions of every parent are good, but the results are not forthcoming for, as parents, their lives are a mess too and so will their children’s future be. The children have no say in the matter for they are dependent on their parents for their survival. This is nothing but parental slavery, plain and simple.
Life has meant it to be this way, but why? It has manifested this parental behaviour, no matter how illusory, so that man may understand children beyond the beliefs of the mind. The beliefs of the mind are superficial, relative and temporary. It is filled with logic and reason. Life, on the other hand, is illogical and a mystery, because it is a process of sophistication of both form and mind every moment.
Man needs to understand that the past, present and future is in the timeless ‘now’. The past is in the now and man can see the past in the now. A look into the sky will prove this point. The stars that man sees are not present in the now but are billions of miles away, and what he sees is a star that was. He cannot see the star that is because his vision does not reach the distance where the star is present. Even the man next to you is in the past, but he appears to be in the ‘now’. The mind cannot see the timeless ‘now’ because it is not present in the timeless ‘now’. The mind cannot see or recognise; it can just think and recall illusory words with meanings.
Man can see the future, while being present in the ‘now’, if he stands at a point on small Diomede Island and looks across the small strip of water, the Bering Strait, that separates it from its bigger counter part, the Big Diomede Island: the international time-line runs in between. The time-difference between these two islands is 23 hours. So, man can see the future, that is tomorrow, if he sees from one island to another. Understand, therefore, that the past, present and the future is the timeless and thoughtless ‘now’.
This means that childhood, middle age and old age all reside within the timeless and thoughtless ‘now’, whether man likes it or not. If they do not, he cannot exist, not even as an illusion. Hence, the process of sophistication happens in the ‘now’ too, which means that the sophistication of primitive times coexists with present day sophistication as a singular flow. There cannot be a cut-off point in this process.
For sophistication to happen there has to be a conversion of the previous, which is in the timeless ‘now’, into the next, which is also within the timeless ‘now’. This process involves disintegration and integration as a form of function, both happening in the timeless ‘now’. The seed buried below the earth has to break to set a tree free. The ovum has to be pierced by the sperm so that fertilisation may occur. This is the process of sophistication.
Both the physical and the mental components of man undergo this process of sophistication. It happens gradually and its intensity varies from minimal to maximum in every speck of this universe. Sophistication becomes obvious at one point at a time. All the fruit in a tree do not ripen at the same time; flowers too do not blossom all at the same time. Similarly, physical and mental sophistication follows the same pattern.
As primitive man’s change in behaviour and form sophisticated, he was not embraced by the majority whose behaviour and form had not. The sophisticated behaviour of the minority was rejected by the majority because they believed their form and behaviour was normal and that of the minority abnormal, though sophisticated. Soon, due to sophistication, the minority became the majority and likewise the majority turned into the minority. The abnormal behaviour was believed to be normal and was embraced; the minority was considered primitive and abnormal. Surely, primitive remedial procedures existed to get them on track, so to speak. It is the rejected that becomes the accepted.
The same phenomenon of rejection turning into acceptance has followed every generation to date and will continue on the same lines eternally. If man laments or expresses displeasure and sorrow, it means that he or she has not understood life and its process of sophistication. The pleas to the almighty are an attempt by man to ask God to stop sophistication - to judge without understanding this process is foolish. Understand that life is more intelligent than the mind. It is life that has manifested the mind and not the other way around. Again, it is life that manifests in this manner to provide a contrast, for it is only through contrast that an understanding can happen of the process of sophistication.
Therefore, children’s behaviour that appears abnormal may very well be and is an indication of the process of sophistication in progress: what you reject will be accepted in times to come. Maybe you may not be around to realise this. Man cannot correct God’s manifestation for he has not understood His creation. Only that which is understood can be corrected, if at all man is the creator, which he is not. He is neither the creator nor is the mind present in the timeless ‘now’ to understand God’s creation. Understanding does not happen in the mind - it reveals itself. The mind is illusory and so can never create anything new. The mind recalls the old and dead, but never the new and alive.
What the mind cannot accept is not real; it is a deception. It only recalls the behaviour that has been registered in it, and that which it can recall is normal to it. The mind cannot know the shape of things to come in terms of form and behaviour, no matter how illusory, in the timeless and thoughtless ‘now’, and this inability appears as rejection. Any detection of abnormality in form or behaviour may just be an indication of the process of sophistication. The old has to disintegrate to allow integration to occur so that the new may appear: off with the old and on with the new. This is life’s dictum. Expected behaviour prevents a parent from living with a child that is alive every moment. Every parent lives unknowingly with an imaginary child, but not with a child that is alive in front of them. This has been the case in every generation.
Life will flow in only one way for your children, just as it has done for you until now and will do until death. Your children will receive whatever they are meant to receive, just as you have until now and you will receive until death. Your children will come to know whatever they are meant to know, just as you have until now and you will come to know until death. Your children will come to do whatever they are meant to do, just as it has happened to you and will continue to happen until death. Teach your children to trust life and not the mind, as you have. If you are concerned for their future and wish that they do not make the same mistakes as you have, teach them to trust life and not the mind, as you have. Life knows how to look after itself and it does so very intelligently.
Be patient, man, and love your children. Understand that love is unconditional. If conditions prevail, love cannot and does not prevail; only behaviour or business will prevail, but not love. Man loves his mind and beliefs of how everyone, including children, should behave, but he does not love anyone or his children as they are. Understand what love is. If the children’s behaviour is unacceptable, it is really you who should be held responsible, for it is you who has made them and not they you - for this is what man believes. It is God who has made them and you included, which means that whatever shape the physical form or mental behaviour is, it is perfect and precise for the moment. Children are the eyes of God that teach man to accept His creation and not reject it. Life is safe in life’s hand which makes a child the apple of every parent’s eye.
© Copyright 2008 V. S. Shankar