Conversation: Marcus and Melanie
Melanie: So you feel bored about it, too?
Marcus: Climbing? Not at all, it is o.k. but life goes another way.
Melanie: Which one?
Marcus: The excitement is the watching, not the knowing about the direction.
Melanie: Is it because of your family?
Marcus: Reasons are always found, but never true.
Melanie: What is true then?
Marcus: Truth could not be known or spoken. It reveals itself, when all that the mind takes for truth is understood to be not the truth. Truth could only be lived.
Melanie: You know, I also had the thought to quit going to the climbing gym but there was fear because I like meeting the people there. And then I noticed that it is not about climbing but about my depression. I withdrew myself from life and in the end from sports also. Therefore it is good that I have found my new climbing group.
Marcus: Yes, to be with others is good, if it happens. Yet, it is not our choice.
Melanie: Yes, I know. I also noticed that it is not the time for me to have many friends. But nevertheless I feel lonely. And if I withdraw myself totally I problably would end like many others who don‘t have any contact to people at all. This is not how I wish to be in the end. And I also don‘t want to be depressive forever.
Marcus: Have trust. Life makes the mind go into depression and it makes man come out of it in many ways, too. Take the help which is offered to you!
Melanie: Yes, that‘s it. Since the children live with their father, I feel much better and suddenly my applications for employment are much better, as if something has changed.
Marcus: That‘s good for you, the children and their father, I‘m sure.
Melanie: Me too.
Marcus: Would you have thought that this could happen some weeks ago?
Melanie: No.
Marcus: Part of the depression is to think that there is no escape, isn‘t it?
Melanie: This is the significant part of the depression.
Marcus: Thus it is the significant part that there is lack of trust in life! And one does not choose it freely, it is the conditioning which says that we are in charge and have to be in charge. But life goes its own way. Trust in life means to have no conditions and expectations. This to achieve is not a matter of willpower.
Melanie: That‘s it, I have lost trust these days because the situation became worse and worse and no end of it - I think it is normal that one becomes depressive then, I fight since two years, that‘s a long time.
Marcus: Trust happens with the understanding that life is absolutely not under the mind‘s control. Time could not be lost, even if there are hard times. It is the way you grow and how clarity sets in, there is no way to escape it. All is well.
Melanie: Well, I don‘t know. Is is really possible to be clear all the time. Man is not immune against everything in the here and now - when you get tortured day in day out and the war lasts for years... I don‘t think that it is possible to find trust then. When calamities endure and heaviness overcomes lightness then there simply is an imbalance.
Marcus: It would not be of any help when I‘d say that i know people who have found peace in such a situation.
Melanie: Let‘s say it is nice for them but I don‘t know how to achieve that.
Marcus: It is not their achievement. This is the first thing to be understood! Hell exists even in the heads of the rich! Every ego due to the belief that it is in charge of life, is imprisoned in the question: “What to do?“ and “What have i done wrong?“ or “Why does he do that?“ It is not the extreme calamities what makes people unhappy but the daily-life-problems. And even if one doesnot live in war - then there is even more self-pity: “Why am I not able to be happy, I don‘t even have a “real“ reason to be unhappy“.
Melanie: Yes, could be.
Marcus: And war - in a lighter form - does it not exist in our daily lifes, too? We fight with our loved ones, fight with all and everyone, even with ourselves. War is not in the battlefield alone. War is in our heads!
Melanie: Well, that‘s it.
Marcus: Therefore the game needs to be understood and trust in life without conditions is necessary - if it happens!
Melanie: And what if the mind rebels against the war wanting to have something more positive?
Marcus: That is the mind‘s nature. Ego compares and wants more. There is nothing to do against it. Simply understand it and that‘s it.
Melanie: I even know that, but I don‘t come to terms with it where I find myself in. I even think that my children are not handicapped or dead, I don‘t have to live on the street - nevertheless I find myself in a kind of prison and not able to get out of it - so what‘s wrong with me?
Marcus: One and the same situation could be looked at from different angles, isn‘t it?
Melanie: Of course.
Marcus: Then the questions is: What makes us suffer: The situation or what we think about the situation?
Melanie: Good question... I‘d say both. Because the situation does not match my nature.
Marcus: Understand that there is no situation of it‘s own, there is nothing but the thoughts. And no one chooses them. If you had the choice to think what ever you want, why would you ever think unhappy thoughts?!
Melanie: You mean that it is destined to me?
Marcus: I mean that what we think that it happens to us does not really happen but only in form of thoughts. And the dilemma, the conflict, begins as soon as the ego believes that it has to change a real situation with real deeds and real thoughts. Therefore the question: “What am I doing wrong?“ and “Why do others handle it in a better way?“ When the belief in the power of the ego is broken it is possible to live very good with all kind of thoughts.
Melanie: Why do we think unhappy thoughts when we are suffering then?
Marcus: This needs to be pondered about very clearly! If we were the thinker, we wouldn‘t do it, isn‘t it?
Melanie: Yes, that‘s it. It isn‘t funny at least.
Marcus: So it could be said that it happens to us again and again so that we may understand that man is not in charge of life!!! It is always an opportunity to understand this.
Melanie: To teach us a lesson?
Marcus: Not as a punishment. Life is not a punitive god. The mind simply has evolved to such an extent that it believes to be in charge of life. And now life shows man that this is not the case. Is there anybody around you who would say to you that you never did anything wrong?
Melanie: It‘s always a pleasure when people come to me and say: “Just do it this way and then you wouldn‘t have any problems any more!“
Marcus: This is their conditioning. It is the condition of evolution which has happend to them. And it is an invitation to understand that it is not the truth! If man really were the doer he wouldn‘t have any problems, isn‘t it?
Melanie: True, but it is strange that people are not right and that I am very little responsible for what happens to me these days. Nevertheless, I want to get out of it!
Marcus: You are not responsible at all! This understanding is the way out. What makes you disturbed is not the situation itself but your ego believing that it has to do something rightly!
Melanie: Well, then you feel better because you are not “guilty“, but this does not mean that all ist well now. This is also conditioning...
Marcus: What would it help to find something “good“?
Melanie: I used to be a different person. There has been more freedom for me - this is what I want have back.
Marcus: Every “good“ exists only because of it‘s opposite “bad“. This is the duality of the mind and there is no way out. The ego always chooses the good and wants to avoid the bad. This is exactly the trap. Life in the mind, the thoughts, is an up and down. There is no way out, except the understanding that this is the way the mind goes! Then the search for the “good“ slowly and steadyly comes to an end and life is accepted as it is because of the understanding that it is just thoughts.
Melanie: And what is about sensations? There is a comparison. Raspberry tastes good for you but pistachio doesn‘t because it is too bitter for you.
Marcus: Bitter is no problem as long as you don‘t try to avoid it. With pain one also lives better if there is no attempt to change it, isn‘t it?
Melanie: Well, one could say I have taken it like it is and therefore the resignation.
Marcus: This is the conditioning. This is exactly what imprisons us. Even the psychologist has a concept of cause and effect and explains to you “how you came in your state“ - and of course it was your fault he would think, isn‘t it?
Melanie: I know what you mean - if the pain is looked at neutrally then it is normal and perhaps goes away - but do you say this also when your arm gets amputated without narcosis? This could happen psychically, too.
Marcus: Life has no cause and effect. Everything happens spontaneously, just because it happens. You can rely on that. I understand that your suffering is real to you! But it doesn‘t mean that it is really the way the mind and all the others tell you. This is the only thing I want to say, o.k.?
Melanie: Yes, understood. And the beautiful part is that it infiltrates my mind more and more and neutralizes me - at least on this level. Not yet neutralized I am concerning my feeling that I will die more and more in my soul if it goes on and on this way.
Marcus: Be patient. Everything will be provided for. How does it feel to know that sorrows are not really needed because everything will happen the right moment the way life wants it to happen, not the way the ego wants it.
Melanie: Well, good. But also helpless.
Marcus: The ego feels helpless, yes.
Melanie: Yes, because my ego has to contain itself with the sorrow that is present nevertheless. It is like not being allowed to pee with the blister being full.
Marcus: There is no “must“! I don‘t mean to suppress anything but to understand. And it simply happens. No effort necessary, not even possible!
Melanie: I understand what you mean and how you mean it. But I have lost trust again and wanted the situation to end. So what? My ego got the upper hand again.
Marcus: Yes, that‘s how it is. The conditioning is extremely strong. Therefore I have asked you whether there is anybody who does not believe that he has to give you the right advice. It is a a mass hypnosis!
Melanie: Yes, obviously only a few people hold themselves back from giving advice, but being honest, the advice is in their mind anyway.
Marcus: Exactly. And this is the power of the mind. A mental magnetic field, so to speak. And it is extremely difficult to align oneself in a different way than the mass. But the compass of the ego points into the wrong direction - away from life! Life only flows in one way and not in the ways that the billions of egos would prefer - how would that be possible, life is one and not billions!
Melanie: Crazy what people mistake themselves to be.
Marcus: They don‘t know better. And yes, it is crazy. That‘s how life wants it to happen, nothing wrong with it.
Melanie: Do you really think that life wants it this way?
Marcus: So to speak. All that happens, happens without reason or goal, just like trees grow and birds lay eggs.
Melanie: I thought you think that life doesn‘t want it like that, the ego and so on.
Marcus: It all is a question of how you look at it. If all gets interpreted that everything is well and fine come what may - then this belief in the good does not make you unhappy. But as soon as you want to have the good without the bad duality comes into play.
Melanie: An if I believe that the ego is good then I come to terms with it - smile.
Marcus: Absolutely
Melanie: Just a joke!
Marcus: No joke!
Melanie: No, the truth is that man does not take the ego neutrally. Therefore he will never come to terms with it.
Marcus: That‘s it: The ego keeps itself alive by always wanting to improve itself. As soon as this belief is annihilated the ego has no chance to exist as real! You got it.
Melanie: Well, from now on I‘d have to go through life as an enlightened being - big job never to forget any more. To internalize it like a lama.
Marcus: Enlightenment means to be at peace with all egos. Internalization happens through understanding, not through effort - this would be ego!
Melanie: You know, I always have learned the best through constant repetition in short intervals. Am curious how often I have to be depressive again until THAT is really internalized in every nook and corner of my body!
Marcus: You are not the only one but the entire humanity!!!
Melanie: Hihi.
Marcus: In short: Don‘t allow to be made believe that you could ever do anything wrong. If I were not totally convinced, I would not write it!
Melanie: Do you know who convinced me about that in the last few years? It was myself! Because I‘ve been conditioned this way by my fellow men as I were a child.
Marcus: Such is life. This insight is the key.
Melanie: Thank you for this talk.
Marcus: Thank you, too. Love to children and their father.
Melanie: Love to family, too.
Marcus: Bye.
Melanie: Bye.