Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.

Published on www.acadun.com

The Netherlands

3th September 2013



What does relationship mean?


Many relationships exist in the world. It is hard to enumerate them all. Relationships exist wherever humans live. Discord exists in every relationship either overtly or subtly, and it is often especially among family relationships. It is the bane of every relationship. The upbringing and education may be meticulous, but discord nevertheless raises its head routinely in daily life.


Discord at times is covered by social etiquette, and this fakes its presence. This is the norm in the majority of relationships in society, such as business relationships, friendships, between immediate family relations, etc.


Man is not at ease with discord and tries to avoid it. Many types of counselling programmes are available that deal with relationship, and man attends them so that discord may be a thing of the past in his or her relationship. Relationships may appear to mend by such programmes, and they do too, only to return to troubled waters eventually. There is no escape from discord while in a relationship, unless your own mind is understood for what it really is – illusory and not real.


Spiritual techniques come with historical assurance to eradicate discord, and man ardently indulges in their practice. If man were honest, he would soon discover, despite practice, that discord remains, and its elimination continues as a historical hope, similar to the promises of the many counselling programmes that remain as a hope of fruition.


Man inherently likes to get something out of every situation, and relationship is no exception. It is the same for every man and woman. Discord is bound to be present in any relationship when he or she cannot get what he or she likes, when he or she does not hear what he or she likes to hear, when he or she does not think like him or her.

There is nothing wrong with this quality ‘to get’ that man and woman possess, as it is an inherent quality of the mind that cannot be removed or suppressed completely. No man or woman can only give and not expect to get during his or her entire life. If he or she can only give, then relationship will be without discord. This is impossible as it is not the way the mind functions. Its functions are dual – give and take, like and dislike, etc.


Man believes that he can do, speak, and think what he likes. But he has not understood as yet that doing, speaking and thinking happen to him or her and not by choice or decision, though he may believe it to be so. If it happens by choice or decision, then everyone will do, speak and think the way the other would like. But this cannot happen, as action, speech and thought happen much faster, before the mind can choose or decide.


So what does relationship mean? Relationship means to live and love the other for who he or she is. It also means that the other cannot be blamed for who he or she is, or is not.


Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2013


Editor’s Note
In the classical world of Greek mythology the goddess of Discord (Eris) was not invited to a famous wedding among the gods, for obvious reasons. Not to be thwarted by this insult to her person, she threw a golden apple amongst all those attending inscribed with the words 'for the fairest'. The winner in the ensuing competition amongst the goddesses for being adjudged 'the fairest' was the one offering the prize of the most beautiful woman in the world (Helen) to the adjudicator (Paris). What followed was the Trojan War, an epic account of human suffering. Not all family disputes lead to such wars, but, without understanding, discord in relationships is a regular, uninvited guest.



Translator’s Note:

Thank you for the article "What does relationship mean?" Nobody can deny that discord is present in every relationship, although everybody longs for harmony. In order to create harmony in a relationship, manipulation is the outcome and love goes out of the window. It is the irony of life to be a harmonious non-dual flow appearing sometimes discordant in man‘s and woman‘s mind, because duality makes life appear as discord and it's counterpart harmony in an endless interplay. Dr. Shankar‘s article is the key for life‘s harmony to reveal itself beyond the duality of the mind, without the need of any manipulation, not even of the mind, so that love will prevail in a real relationship. Understanding is the key. 

Marcus Stegmaier, Germany


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