Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.academy-advaita.com
12th May 2017
Everyone has an opinion of every aspect of life. Everyone is able to accept an aspect of life if it is what their opinion expects it to be. If the aspect of life is not what their opinion expects it to be, they are disappointed.
Everyone then tries many ways to change the aspect of life to be what their opinion believes it should be. Now there are many aspects of life one has to deal with in daily life.
Therefore, it is obvious that there are as many opinions of how daily life should be as there are aspects of it. The most important opinion of daily life is how married life should be, in terms of character and behaviour.
But could man or woman change in character or behaviour is the question? Everyone believes that it is possible. Could this be true needs to be pondered wisely?
Man and woman are in nature and are a part of nature just as vegetation and animals are, because nature is made up of the five elements and so is man, woman, vegetation and animals.
The five elements, fire, air, water, earth, time and space are present in weather as well. Now, the weather in nature is what it is in any moment and cannot be other than what it is.
A plant, tree, flower and fruit is what it is and cannot be other than what it is in any moment. Even if you expect them to be other than what they are, they will not be what you expect them to be.
Similarly, a wild animal or a trained pet is what it is and cannot be other than what it is in any moment. Even if you expect them to be other than what they are or trained to be, they will not be what you expect them to be.
A colour in nature is what it is and cannot be other than what it is in any moment. Even if you expect it to be other than what it is, the colour will not be what you expect it to be.
When daily life is pondered deeply, it will be evident that a husband and wife are what they are and cannot be other than what they are in any moment. Therefore, to expect a husband or a wife to be what your opinion expects them to be is not a possibility.
The wise understand and accept everyone as they are and have no opinion of how anyone should be. They do not expect them to change, because they understand that they will change if they are meant to change and opinions do not change them or anything.
Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2017
Men and women seldom find contentment in their lives. What may give rise to contentment in one will predictably give rise to unrest in another. It is rare to find consensus in a community where everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, albeit illusory. Rather there is a firm belief in man’s power to change the status quo provided sufficient argument or even force is applied. To accept deeply what life expresses in any moment without the attendance of opinion or expectation is wise.
Julian Capper, U.K
German Translator’s Note:
Everybody wants to find the perfect partner and lead the perfect marriage. There is neither a perfect partner nor a perfect marriage. There is only perfect understanding of the other, his or her character and behaviour. This wise article by Dr. Shankar “Change“ presents this understanding, it is perfect in the way, that it accepts the natural imperfection of life in any situation, first and foremost the life with our dearest and nearest companion in life.
Marcus Stegmaier, Germany.