Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.academy-advaita.com
The Netherlands
24 October 2019
Children (1)
“Eyes of God”
Children are the apple of every parent’s eye. Every woman yearns to bear children and to be a mother to her child. The dreams of motherhood are as sweet as heaven.
Such is the love every woman bears in her heart for children. Physical or mental abnormalities in the child do not dent this love; it always remains green and keeps blossoming.
But if the child’s behaviour either during childhood, teenage years or adulthood is not accepted or is anti-social, the mother’s love is accompanied with anguish, sadness and worry of unimaginable proportions.
Such behaviour becomes a problem to every parent. The common census is that it needs to be nipped in the bud at a young age. Therefore, counselling is advised and it is given during childhood and teenage years.
The misery of every parent to get their children’s behaviour in line with the accepted social needs is surely disheartening to the parents. The anxiety and economic burden involved in resorting to therapy is a secondary problem by itself, besides the primary problem, which is the unaccepted behaviour of children.
Such measures either bring in the desired results or do not. The time involved in producing results is not constant either. If such are the findings, how could the results be real?
If the results were real, they would be produced at a precise moment in time and remain corrected for life. But the desired results are never constant and the parents are worried, anxious and sad after any form of correctional or medical therapy. This is medical statistics and every parent’s story as well.
Parents and teachers, as parents, need to understand that they remain the same no matter what the behaviour of children is. So, it is not the behaviour of the child that is the problem; the non-acceptance of behaviour of the children is the problem.
Man has adopted a socially-accepted behaviour of children with ease and that poses no problem to him, though he remains worried, sad, anxious, jealous, angry, guilt-ridden and in fear.
Wisdom, however, reveals that neither the child nor the adult make any moment in life. Wisdom reveals that the behaviour, which is within any moment, will be present and cannot be replaced with behaviour besides what is present in any particular moment.
Wisdom reveals that behaviour of children in any moment cannot be any other behaviour than the behaviour that is present in any moment and the behaviour that is present cannot be replaced by any therapy or counselling by man or woman.
The behaviour in children in any moment will change if they are meant to change by the intelligence in life. Nor is the intelligence in life counselled by man or woman.
The enlightened accept every child as they are in any particular moment in daily life and love the children unconditionally.
Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2019
Editor’s Note:
The growing child is nature’s wonderful phenomenon, beautiful to behold. Nature’s way needs no advice or guidance as the child changes both in sound and appearance. Simultaneously, the child’s understanding begins to mature, often surprising and delighting the parents. However, the delight may become obscured by concern as the parent becomes aware of certain behavioural features in their children, which, in today’s world, may qualify for terms known as autism, dyslexia, ADHT and many more. There are now specialists to help children in modifying these features. This is not nature’s way; it is the way of scientific knowledge and practice. The way of wisdom, however, is by understanding that children are as they are meant to be and that there is behavioural change, if there is meant to be. Understanding that this is so restores a parent’s unconditional love for their child and dissolves any stigma that may attach to these descriptive terms. Let parents – and others – trust in the intelligence of life.
Julian Capper. UK
German Translator‘s Note:
Unconditional love and acceptance of children even in behaviour that contradicts the customs, traditions and needs of a society is the basis of every family that wants to be considered as such and does not see itself as a pure community of purpose. If children behave inappropriately and not socially recognized, parents are held responsible. This builds up the social pressure that burdens the parents' love for the child. Only unconditional love, as revealed in this wise article, is steadfast and cannot be turned into rejection, no matter how strong the external or internal pressure may be. This is health whereas condemnation, correction and suppression itself are part of the problem, although all problems are illusory because no one makes or controls the moment in which problems come and go. And also the parents need, as here in this article, loving support instead of adjustment pressure to bring the child to manners.
Marcus Stegmaier, Germany.