Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.academy-advaita.com
The Netherlands
26 October 2019
Children (2)
“Eyes of God”
Parents are yet to understand that the accepted behaviour of the husband and wife remains a problem. Parent behaviour is like a volcano ready to burst. The children too will have the same problems as the parents have if they are to behave as they are expected to by the parents.
Children, like their parents, will be worried, sad, anxious, jealous, suspicious, guilt-infected and in fear. Behaviour has remained the same in every generation known to man with only its intensity changing in every generation.
It is wise, therefore, for the parents to understand and realise whether any form of behaviour is real or not. It needs to be illusory if the world is illusory, as proclaimed by the enlightened man and woman.
It is not the unacceptable behaviour of the child that is the real problem, if there really is one. The social standing of parental ego is at stake and that is the problem.
A well-behaved child bloats every parental ego and this is what the parent longs for. If it were not so, the parents would not reject the unacceptable behaviour of their child.
A child is a child no matter what the behaviour is. If the love for the child were real, it would never dissipate. If a parent cannot love his child, who would or could? Where would the child go for love, for it is not the child who manifests behaviour?
The children are not unhappy with their behaviour, no matter what it is, while the parent is. The parent is unhappy because their social standing is at stake and a belief that the children’s future depends on an ideal, social behaviour.
Spare a moment here and find out if any parent has an ideal behaviour or whether the parent is happy with his life in every moment, or not. Only the parent, who is happy with his life in every moment and with what he has turned out to be, has the authority to make a point about his children’s behaviour - and none other.
No man or woman is ever happy in every moment in life and this is universal. So what point is being made by demanding or insisting that the children behave?
Wisdom, however, reveals that neither children nor adults make any moment in life. Wisdom reveals that the behaviour, which is within any moment, will be present and cannot be replaced with behaviour besides what is present in any particular moment.
Wisdom reveals that the behaviour of children in any moment cannot be any other behaviour than the behaviour that is present in any moment. Furthermore, the behaviour that is present cannot be replaced by any therapy or counselling by man or woman.
The behaviour in children in any moment will change if they are meant to change by the intelligence in life. Nor is the intelligence in life counselled by man or woman.
The enlightened are happy with children and adults as they are in any moment in life.
Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2019
Editor’s Note
Children light up the lives of adults of any age or disposition who may meet them. To play is their nature without effort or intention. This play is the play of light and sound. So it is with the calf, the chick, the colt, the cub, the foal, the kid, the puppy, the piglet. Young creatures, in every form of manifestation, play. Yet the young must, by the intelligence of life, experience on their path, early in life, the world of adulthood and parenthood where the light has been dimmed by effort and determination for personal causes and personal welfare. Few adults avoid this transformation. Few young creatures avoid the influence of the adult world in which guile and the urge to dominate gain the upper hand, albeit illusory. The wise reveal that behaviour within each moment is by the intelligence of life and cannot be made by any man. Understanding this allows the light of natural happiness to shine without guile.
Julian Capper. UK
German Translator‘s Note:
The focus of parental attention lies in humans with knowledge on what is supposedly visible on the outside, behaviour, albeit illusory. Illusion is the observation of behaviour, not least because the observation usually expresses an evaluation. The wise man's and women‘s attention is focused on the movement and evolvement of life, whose appearance at the moment is the child as well as the adults. Wise parents therefore remain focussed on the child and its needs, which accompany its spontaneous evolvement, and are thus free from concern for one's own ego, which society evaluates as good parents or bad parents, whereby control of the child's behaviour is generally regarded as good. Dr. Shankar's article promotes spontaneous evolvement towards wise parenting.
Marcus Stegmaier, Germany.