Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.acadun.com
23th September 2014
Essence and Trust
Man and woman not only want, but also wish to be trusted, because they feel that they can be trusted. But every man and woman, however, knows that in daily life trust is hard to achieve and maintain.
When man and woman believe that they are trusted by the other, the trust, however, is not grounded; it easily loses ground. This happens routinely in every possible human relationship or friendship.
Trust, therefore, plays a pivotal and vital role, especially in married life, and when any relationship or friendship lacks assurance, certainty, surety, and security, trust is lost or loses ground. Why does man or woman lack at all?
Man or woman lacks only if he or she expects. Man or woman would not lack if he or she did not expect, because he or she then would be contented with whatever he or she has. But, by nature, man and woman is a gatherer and therefore naturally lacks something or the other. Therefore, it is not trust that one has with the other, but only what one expects of the other, and this means that expectation parades as trust.
Now, the essence is present in everyone and everything and makes them exist and function. Therefore, the essence needs to be present every moment to make anything exist and in every function to function. If the essence were absent even for one moment, nothing would exist or function. Therefore, it is evident that whatever exists does exist where it is meant to exist and does function the way it is meant to function. It does not mean that everything exists and functions the way the mind expects them to exist and function.
If man believes that he and the other exist to function the way he and the other are expected to function, then trust will not be present. What will be present is an expectation of how he or the other should function. And when the expectation is not fulfilled, man believes that trust is lost. It is not trust that loses ground, but it is expectation that loses ground.
So what is trust? Trust is an inherent characteristic that surfaces the moment you understand that life happens the way it is meant to happen and function. Then not only trust will be present, and truly grounded, but also the blossoming of love and compassion for all.
Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
Trust is a word that invokes the essential quality that brings human beings together. There is no one who does not recognise it. ‘Trust me’ is the bond between friends and acquaintances that secures the relationship and frees the mind of uncertainty. However, trust is vulnerable to the onset of expectation.
Dutch translator’s note:
The articles of Dr. Shankar show us that life puts us, time and again, on the illusory track. In general we find it obvious to have expectations of others. We express those expectations to each other and make demands to pupils, students and employees. If the expectations are met, we are pleased with that person. If the expectations are not met, we are disappointed and do not trust him anymore. Even our love is full of expectations. We need to understand that life is without expectations, while the mind does have expectations. We need to have courage to trust life.
Paula Smit, the Netherlands