Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.academy-advaita.com
18 November 2017
When a mistake is made and you are aware that a mistake has been made, you request to be excused for the mistake. This signifies that you are honest to admit. You also reassure yourself and the other that you will not commit the same mistake.
The other excuses you for the mistake that you have made because you are honest about making the mistake. The other also understands that you learn by the mistakes that you make, when you are honest to admit them, and also hopes that you understand as well from the mistakes that you make.
When you give a reason for getting anything done in the house, it would be a reason if you discuss with the other for getting anything done. If you do not discuss your reason with the other in the family for doing anything, then it is not a reason. It is only an excuse for getting things done your way.
If you do not discuss with the other in the family when doing anything, it only shows that you are neither honest with the other nor honest with yourself. If you only give excuses and do not discuss openly with others in the family, it shows that you are cunning and not truthful.
Some habitually make excuses and do not openly discuss with the other in the family. This reflects that they have understood a family superficially and live in hate disguised as love for the family.
Some habitually discuss with the other in the family and never make excuses. This reflects that they have understood a family deeply and live in love and concern for every member of the family.
You live openly with the family when you discuss every matter that concerns a family and the house. If you live openly with each other in the family you are honest, loving and caring.
If you do not live openly with the family, you never discuss any matter that concerns a family and the house. If you do not live openly with each other in the family, you are cunning and neither loving nor caring for the family or for the house.
If you are cunning it means that you have selfish motives. And no matter how many scriptures you read, sing songs of praise to God or pray to God, they do not reach God.
It is wise to live openly with the family and discuss every issue that concerns a family and the house, because the house and family is a gift from God. It is wise because, when you live with wisdom, you are close to God and every member of the family lives in peace and love.
Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2017
Words spoken or written by the enlightened are alive. They never fade. When such words are heard or read, their light lives with those who hear or read them. They are understood as they are meant to be understood as the deconditioning of the mind gradually evolves - effortlessly. So it is with the blessed words of Dr Shankar, as gifted in this article and in every article and in every book and in every satsang.
Julian Capper, UK.
German Translator‘s Note:
If there is a situation in the family in which a decision is to be made, it is wise to ask everyone for their opinion. If only one person wants to decide on its own, it only means, that the ego hides itself in order to escape a discussion. This way, the ego does not give an opportunity for win/win-solutions to happen. Dr. Shankar explains here, in the article "Excuse", how a loving family functions.
Marcus Stegmaier, Germany.