Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.academy-advaita.com
The Netherlands

20th May 2017

Husband and Wife

“Relation ever after”


The relation between a husband and his wife or the relation between a wife and her husband is important for both in any marriage. Both the husband and the wife like the relation to be like a fairy tale ending, ‘happily ever after’, from the first day of marriage, which is as happy as a fairy tale for both of them.

Man and woman both go into marriage with promises to each other to make their relation happy in every day of their married life. But, though the first day of marriage is happy, the days following the first day have their own story. This makes the relation between husband and the wife happy as well as not happy.

It is important for husband and wife to have a relation that is happy every day of their marriage and not just on the day of marriage, because the relation in marriage has consequences not only for each other, but also for their children. 

Therefore, there are important points that a husband and wife need to be aware of if they wish their relation with each other always to have a fairy tale ending - “happily ever after”- in every moment of every day of their marriage. 

The first important point is that their respective minds are at different points of evolution just as their respective bodies are at different points in evolution. Each cannot expect their bodies to function in the same manner as the other. Similarly, each cannot expect their minds to function in the same manner as the other.

The second important point is that neither of them controls evolution. Their respective bodies and the thoughts in the minds will be what has evolved and cannot be other than what has evolved.

The third important point is that neither of them makes a moment in life or could make a moment in life. Every moment in life is manifested by life and also whatever is contained in the moment is manifested by life and not by man.

The fourth important point is that neither of them can expect the other to be what each other expects the other to be in every moment of married life. It is impossible for each to change to be what the other expects, because they are what they are, for life has evolved them to be what they are. 

The fifth point is that life has manifested husband and wife so that each of them understands unconditional love and care for each other in every day of marriage. Unconditional love and care for each other bring unity within the family and also keep not only each other happy ever after, but also their children happy ever after.

Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2017

Editor’s Note:
Marriage is a formally recognised phenomenon, occurring in different forms, in almost every society. The actual ceremony of marriage is performed with due care and attention to detail as a family and social occasion. It is a public declaration of a commitment made and honoured, albeit illusory. Marriage is a manifestation in life: the gift of life. There are no conditions in life, yet marriage evolves for husband and wife as it is meant to. Understanding this reveals unity.
Julian Capper, U.K

German Translator’s Note: 
If husband and wife call each other “my husband“ and “my wife“, the ego begins to possess. Possessions are meant to be used, such as items in daily life or luxury articles. If the objects don’t function the way they are expected to function, the ego is angry, depressed and frustrated. The same expectations apply to husband and wife, as long as the understanding, presented here in the article by Dr. Shankar, has not happened. A deeper understanding of marriage is crucial for a happy life, together. Marcus Stegmaier, Germany. 

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