Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.academy-advaita.com
The Netherlands

16 January 2018

Husband and Wife

“Partners in life”

God or the intelligence in life has manifested every marriage in daily life. The significance of marriage is that husband and wife are both partners in marriage, each having his or her responsibilities of a partner to live the five human values of prema, shanti, satya, dharma and ahimsa.

Marriage is usually taken for granted by the husband and the wife. Each have their own beliefs of marriage. Their own beliefs of marriage eventually lead to misunderstanding between them.

Only on the day of marriage are there prema, shanti, satya, dharma and ahimsa. In the days that follow marriage, however, the misunderstanding between them increases and leads to disharmony in the marriage and in the house.

Every marriage is conducted by religious protocols that include divine blessings on the married couple as well. But, nevertheless, marital discord is present in every marriage either frequently, every other day or sometimes even every day.

If every partner in marriage understands and lives the five human values, the partners in the days of marriage will be just as they were on the first day of his or her marriage, filled with prema, shanti, satya, dharma and ahimsa.  

So what the understanding of the five human values in marriage could be needs deep pondering.

A husband needs to understand that his wife, firstly, has left her family to be his wife in his family. Secondly, he needs to understand that his wife gives him his children, raises them, cooks food for his family to feed them and takes care of his house and his family.

He needs to understand that taking care of his family, house and cooking is a twenty-four-hour job. It needs meticulous attention by his wife to details with love, care and understanding.

For example, cooking food three times a day in order to feed the family. Firstly, raw food has to be bought, vegetables have to be cleaned, the ingredients have to be cleaned and cut.

The entire cooking takes about two hours daily. The husband eats his food within ten minutes. Similarly, the other things that a wife does to keep the house in order are unimaginable. The husband cannot do it. His house and his family will fail to function without his wife in his house.

When the husband understands this, he is grateful to his wife. The gratitude is expressed if the husband appreciates his wife daily and makes her feel important in his family and in his house, just as she feels important in her parent’s house.

The gratitude expressed by the husband to his wife makes both the husband and the wife live the five human values. There will be no argument in the house and the house will be filled with prema, shanti, satya, dharma and ahimsa in every moment of every day. Every day will be just as the first day of marriage.

Author: Dr. Vijai S. Shankar
© Copyright V. S. Shankar 2017

Editor’s Note:
Honouring, respecting and understanding the responsibilities of a husband and wife in marriage are the bedrock of a family, a community and a nation. If the responsibilities of the husband and wife are not honoured, respected and understood, the house is built on sand. The house is washed away by the tide of negative emotion and disappointment. Honouring, respecting and understanding these words of the wise are the supreme gifts for partners in life. Their house is a joy for their children, their family and their community and a strength for their nation.
Julian Capper, UK.

German Translator’s Note: 
Marriage is a wonderful opportunity to come close to God. Every human is a form of God or the intelligence of life. Therefore if one wants to be near to God, he or she needs to full of gratitude in every situation of daily life. Dr. Shankar in this article gives a hint to the husband to be grateful for everything the wife shares with the family, be it her love, cooking or whatever in the house needs to be done. Gratitude makes both wife and husband near to each other and near to God, as everyone is a form of God or the intelligence in life. 
Marcus Stegmaier, Germany,

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