Dr. Vijai S Shankar MD.PhD.
Published on www.acadun.com
23th August 2013
What does trust mean?
Every man loves to be trusted and loves to trust the other, especially before entering into a personal relationship or in any relationship. With regards to man, he believes trust means, actions, words and thoughts are relied upon on to be truthful. Trust is believed to form the basis, regular basis or irregular basis of any relationship. Without trust every relationship, especially marriage, faces arguments, heartache, bitter fights, sleepless nights, or temporary separation, either on a daily basis, regularly or irregularly. Sometimes marriage ends in divorce for lack of trust. Trust is therefore believed to be paramount to keep any relationship in harmony. But, it is obvious that man has been unable to trust in any generation. This requires honest enquiry.
Does man know what trust is? Obviously not, because if, he did, he would not lack it, as he does in every generation. He has been lectured, tutored and even preached to on trust, yet he has not mastered trust in any generation. He seems to lose it in every generation repeatedly and the quest for trust that is permanent still goes on.
Man believes that he can do, speak and think what he wants or wishes. Man loses his trust when the other does, speaks or thinks what he is not supposed to. The supposition means, what is not expected from the other.
Man needs to understand that he comes to know what he has done, spoken or thought only after and not before it actually happens. He needs to understand that they happen to man and he does not make them happen to him.
Man has many ideals he loves to follow or happen to him. He is yet to understand that ideals in life could be met only if man were able to do, speak and think as he is supposed and expected to.
The understanding that man can do, speak and think has happened to man and he has not brought it on to him. If he has, he would, do, speak and think just what he is supposed to and is expected of him. But he or the other cannot do it always
So, does man trust? He does not trust; he expects. Man has misunderstood expectation to be trust. If man’s expectations are fulfilled, he trusts the other and himself. If his expectations are not fulfilled, trust is lost.
So what does trust mean? Trust means life happens as it is meant to happen. It does not mean that actions, speech and thoughts will happen as man expects they should happen.
When trust happens to man he is always grateful to life, no matter which relationship he is in.