Marcus Stegmaier und Yvonne
10th December 2011
“Time Bomb Of The Year“
In all the Christian countries of the world, man‘s and woman‘s wish is a merry christmas. Parents gift their children advent calendars of various types to prepare, for themselves and their children, the happy, merry christmas. Christmas Eve is expected to be the celebration of love. However in most cases it seems to be the celebration of expectations! This is not love at all though man usually takes it to be love.
Expectations are the fuse of the bomb called mind which is about to explode when they are not fulfilled. This is the reason why the Advent Season becomes the time bomb of the year in many a household, in countless families and even for the lonesome who, alone they may appear, do not escape the ghosts of their own minds.
The whole year parents run away from their children and vice versa in order to escape the disaster of their mind‘s expectations. Expectations about what the other should do or not do, what the other must say or not say and what the other has to think or not to think. Chrismas Eve is the time when family-minds meet in narrowest space with no chance to escape or run away.
This is a precious chance to understand whether expectations are real or illusory and whether they are really meant to lead to happiness or not. As man is not the doer, thinker or speaker for life is a singular, timeless flow which could never be controlled by the mind, any expectation has to be illusory. Christmas Eve is an opportunity to realise expectations may or may not be fulfilled in life.
Now let‘s have a look under the Christmas tree and see how the mind explodes. Three basic feelings are part of the explosion: fear, anger and sadness. Fear of not being able to fulfil the expectations of others for they would become angry. Anger to defend oneself if the other has become angry. And sadness after the fight is over because either one regrets what has happened as a so called winner or one is sad to have lost the fight as an apparent loser.
As long as the mind believes to be the doer, the bomb “mind“ could not be deactivated. There is no way to escape the obnoxious feelings, for when they are meant to happen they will happen, and no force, neither on earth nor in heaven, could prevent it from happening. Therefore, if it happens, instead of trying to escape, all the drama could only be understood. This amounts in witnessing, and step by step the mind and its feelings loosen its grip. Trust in life and patience are necessary, however not as an act but as part of the evolutionary process of life.
The journey of expectations begins in the Advent Season. Christmas cards have to be sent to all our loved ones and even to those forgotten the whole year and only remembered in this season of the year which is supposed to be the season of love. This love needs to be expressed, such is the belief of the conditioned mind. To avoid a guilty conscience, everybody has to get a postcard for love to be shown. And on the other hand the postcards received are treasured as symbols for being loved.
But stress and mental pressure are the underlying feeling of the writer. What if the expected Christmas card is forgotten to be sent? “Why did you forget to send me a christmas card? Am I not important for you? Don‘t you love me any more?“ Even if reproaches fail to appear, the fear of it prevails every year. To think about someone and not to forget him or her becomes a proof for love.
The ego never has investigated how real that proof could be. Deep enquiry into the nature of mind reveals that man is not the thinker. Thoughts just happen or not. Otherwise nothing would be forgotten. How could forgetting happen with man as the thinker? It is not the ego who makes thoughts happen and therefore man does not have the capacity to forget and to remember. Forgetfulness and remembrance are just as illusory as any expectation which the mind treasures as real. The stress of writing Christmas cards are an opportunity to understand that thoughts are illusory and not brought about by the ego.
Since early childhood, television, cinema and newspapers indoctrinate man‘s mind what the perfect Christmas Eve looks like and it is believed that a certain behaviour will make everybody happy. Everything should happen according to the various wishes and imaginations of many minds and it should happen simultaneously together at the same time. How could this ever be possible? How could one singular life fulfil so many diffent expectations of so many different minds? Ponder!
The ego, however, does not understand that behaviour is not the innate property of any individual. The ego believes that man is the doer, speaker and thinker. In fact, behaviour is a thought in the mind of the observer. In life there is nothing but a singular movement of light also appearing as sound. Sound is light at a lesser speed.
Sound appears as words to the mind which donate labels of actions to the singular movement of light received by the eyes. Behaviour is an interpretation of the illusory action which is just thought by the mind. Yet, it is believed to be actually seen by the eyes, whereas the function of the eye is nothing but to receive light rays and not to see any object.
Interpretations and conclusions about the future behaviour of the other are based on what already has happend, the past. Behaviour is never in the “Now“ where the body is, for the mind is always in the past or in the future, but never in the timeless and thoughtless “Now“. Therefore nobody is able to fulfil any of the expectations about behaviour.
Life happens spontaneously, unpredictably and uncontrollably in the timeless and thoughtless “Now“ and the mind‘s expectations are included in this singular flow in form of sound which is light at a lesser speed. Expectations for that matter could not be prevented. If they are meant to happen, they will happen. Thus, if it happens, it is wise to simply witness the mind‘s expectations about behaviour. Don‘t think life as a sum of events and deeds done by individuals, but witness life happening as a play of light and sound!
Children in particular are expected to be very good and lovely during Christmas Eve, this extraodinary evening of the year when the whole family has come together to contemplate, to celebrate and to enjoy the harmony. The children‘s natural need to play and run around is labeled as a bad habit disturbing peace and silence.
The parents, by their educational talent, are expected to be able to prevent children from being noisy and annoying. If noise, disturbance and perturbation do happen nevertheless, discussions about the right educational methods arise in abundance under the Christmas tree in the name of Christ Child. What an irony!
And it seems logical to the mind: Grandparents seem to know best how to educate children for they have already done it with their children who are parents right now. And their perfectly educated children, which now are the parents of their grandchildren, begin to fight and blame each other whether mother or father has caused the faulty behaviour of the children.
But the mind never asks the really logical question: Why are the parents not perfect parents? They should be perfect because they have been educated by perfect grandparents! If their way of raising children would have been perfect, the parents of the grandchildren should be perfect as perfect can be and the grandchildren too! Logic, if questioned deeply, unveils the contradictoriness of the ego! The ego‘s logic remains superficial as knowledge. Deep enquiry reveals understanding.
Understand: It is life which sophisticates in a mysterious way as grandparents, parents and children. Thus nothing depends on education, for life happens spontaneously without the participation of the ego. This understanding, not any imaginary behaviour, is real love and respect. Then Christmas Eve as well as any other time of the year becomes holy, peaceful and enjoyable come what may.
After Christmas dinner often remorse happens because it is believed that everything should be perfectly harmonious. If it does not happen, the mind thinks: “What am I doing wrong? Should I try harder? Or is it the fault of others? Someone has to be guilty, isn‘t it?“ Every thought of guilt is an opportunity given by life, yet often missed by the ego, to understand that man is not the doer, speaker and thinker. God alone is appearing as man, doing, speaking and thinking, however illusory.
One should investigate whether disharmony could happen at all if man were able to conduct life according to his own will and accord. If man were the doer, there would be nothing but harmony, for he would be able to fulfil any expectations he decides to fulfil. The family once and for all would be able to write down the rules that cause perfect harmony and everybody would just conduct accordingly. But this is not what happens. The apparent absence of harmony is proof that man is not the doer - this understanding reveals that life is harmonious all the time and only the mind is not.
Of course expectations do not stop when religion comes into play. For most Christians the whole year, religion is more or less forgotten and now a good Christian has to be demonstrated. Therefore everybody goes to church on Christmas Eve. The church is full as full can be. Bad conscience for having missed the opportunity to go to church many a sunday of the year drives the entire family into christmas mass. Blamed is he who does not join the congregation. Religion has become a matter of acting in a religious manner. How could God expect man to go to church if He is compassionate?
The ego is not aware that all religions are based on beliefs of the mind which are not present in life at all. All religious beliefs assume that man is the doer, speaker and thinker. But where should God be then, if everywhere man is. Man is not, only God is. Life is God and therefore everthing which happens has to be holy as holy can be.
The understanding that even religion is not free of expectations of what to do or not to do should become an open door to true religion: The understanding that life is God and that God or life does not fulfil the expectations of the mind. A man or woman of this understanding is a truly religious human being and has become Christ instead of being a Christian.
And last but not least the exchange of Christmas gifts causes a lot of trouble every year for children and adults alike. Gifts are believed to make happy, the giver as well as the recipient. Gifts have become the currency of happiness. Presents have become symbols of love, sometimes even function as a substitute for love: “The more I give to my children, the more I love them.“ But what happens if the wish list is not followed meticulously? Expectations all around the Christmas tree lead to disappointment and frustration!
Understand that God is the giver, the gift and the recipient. All is one and not separate in any way. Everybody, illusory it may be, receives what he is meant to get and no force on earth can prevent it from happening if it is meant to happen. Therefore patiently wait until God as life gifts you whatever is meant to be given to you. All is given precisely to eventually be taken away precisely. All that is needed is absolute trust in God appearing as the mysterious flow of life.
However, it could not be denied that there are also families in which a certain harmony arises during Advent Season. But it would be wise to enquire how real harmony which comes and goes could be. If it were real it would be permanent and should not come in christmas time and disappear later on, in daily life.
Be honest: Even for the blessed families which are happy during Advent Season there comes a time of disharmony during the rest of the year. Disharmony is bound to hit the harmonious mind like a flash from above. Unforeseen it could happen any time according to the duality of the mind.
The mind on Christmas Eve seems to waylay, so to speak, to find every single fault the other does, to uncover every single wrong word the other says and even seems to think. This is the nature of the mind and nothing wrong with it. In fact, only the mind appears to be in harmony or disharmony, because the mind is dual and this is its very nature.
Life, however, is harmonious all the time for life does not contain any time in it, life does not contain any individual in it, life does not contain any action in it, and therefore life is free of any expectations. Expectations are just in the mind and as soon as it is understood that the mind is illusory, the harmony which life is reveals itself.
The mind‘s fuse cannot be deactivated by avoiding or rejecting the bomb to prevent it exploding as anger, sadness and frustration. The mind cannot be deactived but only understood properly, if it happens, as part of the sophistication of life. If an understanding happens spontaneously, uncontrollably and unpredictably, the mind does not explode any more, and anger, sadness and frustration magically transform into compassion.
The mind does not understand what compassion really is. Compassion is not “to suffer with the other“ who is lost in his imaginary mind. Compassion is the clear understanding that man is not the doer, speaker and thinker, and that the other has not understood as yet. This is compassion and real love for it unveils that any expectation, no matter how revered it may appear, is illusory and not real and therefore could never be fulfilled by life.
If the understanding is just intellectual, then be aware: Others still seem to disturb the one who only thinks to have understood the mind without really having understood. Because expectations are believed to be not spiritual, the ego‘s newest expectation is that the other should drop all expectations. Yet, this understanding is still superficial and not total for nothing is unspiritual in life. Everything has its place, illusory it may be. Expectations are not unspiritual at all, they give an opportunity to become steady in life instead of believing in the mind.
If the understanding of mind is total it includes the expectations of everybody else too and there will be no disturbance at all. Then one understands that expectations are life‘s perfection too expressing itself as man and mind. Understand, the mind has expectations for it wishes the past to be repeated in the future in a more perfect form. This the mind only does for lack of trust.
Trust life for God to reveal itself. This deactivates the time bomb of the year: Advent Season. This reveals life to be the lovable, merry and happy, singular event which it is. Life is a spontaneous, uncontrollable and unpredictable flow which includes the mind with all its expectations. Yet, life does not follow any of it, illogical it may appear to the ego.
Mind, depending on expectations to be fulfilled, is always stuck in the duality of happiness and unhappiness. Understanding this, it is not necessary to wait for Christmas Eve: Life is happy the whole year, timeless and thoughtless as the eternal moment. This is the eternal Christmas gift, not only to christianity, but to entire humanity.
Copyright, Marcus Stegmaier and Yvonne, 2011