Boredom and stress in childhood and parenthood

Marcus Stegmaier, Germany.

Boredom and stress in childhood and parenthood

The power of illusion and evolution


Boredom and stress are complementary sensations that happen to man as long as he has not understood life and the mind. Man thinks the thoughts in the mind are life, while they are not. Although the first humans, in which the illusion of the reality of thoughts in the mind developed evolutionarily and spontaneously, had no parents who taught it to them, this evolutionary process is reinforced by the example of conditioned parents towards their not yet conditioned children. Such is the power of illusion!

What is the power of illusion in relation to the two phenomena of boredom and stress? Understanding this is essential for modern parents and their children. Boredom is an imagined state of inactivity in which thoughts wish for more activity. Thoughts emerge such as, "Oh, I'm bored, I should do something." Stress happens in an imagined state of activity or inactivity, where thoughts wish for more or even more activity: "Oh, I should actually get this and that done, too." But how do these thoughts occur in the mind?

The ego's wanting more creates these feelings because the ego is convinced to be the doer. The question is whether this is real or illusory? If the ego were the doer, it would not be bored or stressed. It would simply generate the exact amount of activity to feel good and get everything done that it wants to get done. The fact that this does not always happen proves that the ego cannot control its activities.

When a child is bored, the parents give him something to do. In this way, the child learns that something must be done to get rid of the unpleasant feeling of boredom. Conditioned parents do not simply wait patiently and affectionately toward the child until the child's mood changes. When the child is doing something and the parents believe that the doing may not be enough to achieve certain goals, they demand more effort from the child and thus stress is created. Parents have not yet gained the understanding that feelings come and go, even without doing anything. They do not understand this neither in themselves nor in their children. So they themselves are often bored or stressed. 

Modern parents also do not understand that goals are not real and stress is created by the idea of having to achieve certain goals. Conditioned parents trust their thoughts more than life, without realizing that they too were simply once alive as children and then thoughts arose in them. Where the thoughts came from and still come from, this question is not asked by man, because to have thoughts he or she considers completely a given. 

When man understands that never in life too little happens, but life moves precisely as it is meant to, man realizes that he is not the doer and relaxes in the nameless Here and timeless Now. Parents with this understanding simply observe their own pleasant and unpleasant feelings as they come and go. This is because they understand that what comes and goes is not real, but illusory. Wisdom evolves in parents when they realize that all thoughts just happen to them and are never a real problem. Thus, even in their children, they never make a problem out of any feelings and thoughts, but are an example to their children in patiently observing the coming and going of illusory thoughts and feelings. 

Parents with this understanding, moreover, never demand anything of themselves or their children, but patiently observe how life develops evolutionarily as parents and children at exactly the pace it is meant to happen. Just as a gardener does not pull and tug at his seedlings to accelerate their growth, understanding parents do not tug and grumble at their children because they understand that this would only create stress that would move themselves and their children from the living thoughtless Here and timeless Now into the illusory thought-heavy There and eternal yesterday or future Then of thought.

Life is a singular, spontaneous flow that could never be more or less, but appears so in thought, creating thoughts and feelings of boredom and being stressed. Life is in each moment as it is, and the mind does not make the moment, but is manifested in the moment by life. Nothing is ever done in life, because actions are thoughts in the mind and nothing real in life. Where life is present, boredom and stress cannot be, because both would need time to exist, and life is timeless. It is the illusory thought of time, past and future, that makes boredom and stress appear real by comparison, even though they are not. Such is the power of illusion! 

Just as conditioned parents fuel the conditioning of their children, de-conditioned parents, to whom wisdom about life and the mind has revealed itself, show their children the way to freedom from thoughts and feelings through calm witnessing. Evolution has the power to condition and to de-condition and manifests itself in this way as parents and children. Such is the power of evolution! 

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